What is active listening?

Definition of active listening

Active listening is a communication technology Who comes to support your sales techniques. With it, you put your interlocutor in confidence and show him that you are on his side.

This method teaches you how to empathize with your interlocutor (ex: prospect or customer), that is to say, to listen to him carefully (and in a non-directive way) in order to fully understand what he is going through. The person then feels free to express themselves freely, without pressure or fear of hasty judgment.

Thanks to it, you can more easily identify pain points of the individual and will respond in a personalized way.

This is a quality that we place a very strong emphasis on our Bootcamp to become a Business Developer. If you are interested in the subject, discover it.

Active listening is used in areas such as business, marketing, medicine, psychology, and even education. It is a real tool, facilitating dialogue and understanding.

Active or passive listening?

Active listening is different from passive listening in several ways. Active listening is characterized by the involvement of the listener who is fully engaged and responsive to the ideas presented by the speaker.

Nonverbal signals such as head nods, the smiles, facial expressions in response to the speaker's ideas, looks... demonstrate his understanding. By active listening, the listener engages in an analysis of the meaning of words and also of ideas. The listener is not only listening, he Interpret the words and evaluate them.

Passive listening, on the other hand, means that the listener does not react to the speaker's ideas but simply listens. In this case, the listener does not attempt to interrupt the speaker by asking questions and commenting on the ideas presented. However, this does not mean that the listener is not paying much attention to the speaker. On the contrary, even if he is listening, he is not trying to react.

Active listening is generally more appreciated by speakers because they feel that their words are considered and that they reach the intended audience. In retail, it is essential to listen actively when the customer List his needs. Paradoxically, active listening involves Ask questions : at the right time, short, in limited quantities, but very relevant.

What is active listening according to Carl Rogers?

The concept of active listening was introduced by Carl Rogers, an American psychologist. He defines it as a concept that consists in using the Questioning And the reformulation in order to ensure that we have best understood the message of the interlocutor and to demonstrate it to him.

The warm attention that is given by the interlocutor and the bond of trust that develops allow the person who speaks to be free of all fears and to be able to express themselves correctly. For Carl Rogers, the emotion that comes from active listening is much more important than the intellectual aspect of the subject. In fact, this is what gives this technique its communication power.

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THE 5 IMPERATIVES OF CARL ROGERS

For the American psychologist, for active listening to be fully satisfied, the interlocutor must absolutely respect five imperatives.

• The welcome : Know how to accept others as they are. It is an attitude of respect and consideration to foster trust and show genuine interest. It means considering the other person as the most important person in the world but without ulterior motives, that is, without expecting a return from them.

• Focus on what the other person is experiencing and not on what they say : Sometimes the speaker has difficulty expressing what he feels and the words chosen are not necessarily the right ones. Here, it is a question of carrying out a real work of transposing the situation from a living, emotional and non-intellectual point of view. It's about going beyond the facts to open up to how the other person feels.

• Be interested in the other person more than in the problem itself : Instead of focusing on the problem, it's about seeing the problem from the perspective of the other person. This is where emotion and empathy play important, even crucial, roles.

• Show others that you respect them : It is giving the other person the assurance that we respect their way of living or seeing things without encroaching on their field and without turning into an apprentice psychologist who “sees” into the other's subconscious

• To be a real mirror : It is not a question of interpreting but of echoing what he feels: “so, you deeply feel that...”. The whole art of active listening is to highlight the feelings that accompany the words of the other person.

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What are the principles of active listening?

Empathy

Empathy is “the ability to enter into the subjective world of others in order to understand it from within.” Empathy is “wanting to experience the Inner world of the other as if it were our own world.” This attitude of unconditional acceptance gives you a chance to fully explain your point. It gives others time to express themselves, the possibility to say. The positivity of this attitude releases energy that can easily be reinvested in the task at hand. The absence of mutual defenses allows the discourse to be given maximum attention, so that it can be shared and understood.

Authenticity

Authenticity is when a person prioritizes healthy relationships. Genuine people are free from falsehood, free from prejudice, and independent when they have to go their own way. They believe in mutual respect, the principle of reciprocity, and values that confront hypocrisy. In active listening, Authenticity is particularly important because it is thanks to this attitude that a bond of trust is created and that speech is free.

Kindness

Very simply, to be kind is to help or do good to others. Kindness does not take care of the gratitude of the other. By being kind to others, you accept the other person as they are, you are kind and you are kind: you are empathetic and compassionate. Kindness towards others implies a Non-judgment of others. The fact that the other person was helped should be enough for our kindness. In other words, the other person's opinion of us does not influence our act of kindness. In active listening, benevolence is demonstrated by understanding the other and non-judgment. The interlocutor is there to help and not to accuse or reprimand.

How do you practice active listening?

Listen attentively

Attention to the interlocutor is essential. Attention involves the demonstration of a certain concentration on the person who is speaking. She must feel that her speech interests you or questions you. The emotion it conveys to you, the variations in tone in the voice must appeal to you. Being attentive does not mean plunging into silence but respecting the speaking time of others while asking questions or getting information when you need it.

Pay attention to meaning

In active listening, the meaning of words must be analyzed in the same way as the whole speech. It is necessary not to make mistakes in analyzing the meaning of the statement. You should also know Decode the nonverbal. Arms crossed, glances running away, legs twitching, tics, silences, rapid flow... These are all elements that you must learn to decode in order to feel the state in which your interlocutor is, but also to fully understand the message he is delivering to you, with all the emotional dimension that accompanies it.

Take an interest

The interlocutor must show that he is interested in what is explained to him. This involves the adoption of a involved attitude (looking the person in the eye, nodding...) and by the abandonment of all other superfluous activities. For example, during the speaker's speech, whoever is listening should not check their emails. Interest also involves questioning and looking for details. Taking an interest in others is essential in active listening.

Reformulate

To rephrase is to repeat in your own words. This will ensure that you have Well understood what your interlocutor said to you. But also to show him that you have heard and integrated the message he sent you. This part should not be overlooked when establishing active listening.

How to develop active listening skills?

Tips

There are a few tips that can help you use active listening. For example, you can look the other person in the eye, do not interrupt Whoever is speaking, encourage your interlocutor to continue the discussion or even try to ask the right questions.

Exercises

In order to practice, you can organize debates with those around you. During speaking time, have fun applying the tips above. It is also possible to register for training courses dedicated to active listening. Chez Akimbo, we offer sessions to learn how to master sales and negotiation techniques. Active listening is a big part of this learning.

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When to use and not to use active listening?

Active listening will not be used in several situations, especially when the time is for action and no longer for reflection. Sometimes, it is not desirable to be an active listener, for example, at times when you want to understand, explore, or take a step back from a situation or a problem. Or even at a time when it is necessary to decide, to decide, to act. It is important to know if it is time to act or to reflect. To be constantly in active listening would be to stop at the first step. It would be totally inefficient !

In the crisis situations, using active listening techniques consistently as an escape route will not resolve conflicts. The awkward situation is then likely to drag on and persist in the responses.

The behavior of the speaker will also influence the choice of whether to use active listening or not. For example, if the person speaking is irrational Or goes on forever in digressions, active listening is not recommended as it does not advance the conversation.

We will use active listening when the speaker expresses himself in an inaccurate way or if we suspect discomfort in some people. In this case, he will invite him to express his feelings by questioning his fears, his apprehensions, his regrets... It can also be used in case of conflicts or tensions, and when the interlocutor seems to have something important to say but has difficulty expressing himself or complains about not to be understood. Active listening has its full place in sales process, especially when trying to build an argument to convince a customer or a prospect. Active listening is also integrated into many commercial techniques such as the CAB or SONCAS.

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Why use active listening?

Active listening at work

At work, we have to communicate with many people: colleagues, managers, directors, etc. It is therefore important to fully understand and be understood, in order to have healthy relationships with all actors in the company. Active listening is the solution for peaceful relationships and more efficient operation. Thanks to this method, it becomes easier to progress in your tasks and therefore to develop ideas and projects.

Active listening in the private circle

Active listening in a private circle is a great way to keep relationships peaceful and to cultivate joy and rest. Thanks to this technique, the bonds between friends or family members are strengthened and intensified. Active listening makes it possible to establish a deep trust between people and to communicate more easily.

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The difference between the concept of active communication and that of active listening

These are very similar but different techniques:

• Active communication focuses on you. It encourages you to incorporate verbal and non-verbal elements into your expression in a way that makes it easy for the other person to understand and appreciate you.
• Active listening focuses on your interlocutor. The aim of the method is to show the person speaking to you that you are making a real effort to understand them and that they can trust you.

If you want to get more familiar with active listening, feel free to watch this video by Thomas D'Ansembourg on our ability to listen to others.